Little Girl Lost
by eMiAnHalT913
Summary: Caddie doesn't need anyone concerned for her well being. Especially not Sirius Black. But he just keeps worming his way into her heart with his silver eyes and boyish charm. Damn him.


**So, this is a story I wrote (up until chapter 22 or something...) on about three (?) years ago. I'm revisiting and recreating it! **

**Hope you like! :)**

**I only own Caddie. (But I don't _own _her. She's an independent woman and can take care of herself.)**

_Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away_  
_ Now it looks as though they're here to stay_  
_ Oh, I believe in yesterday_

**~ The Beatles**

**C****hapter One:**

I didn't understand why people thought I had changed. I mean, as far as I could tell nothing was different. I was still the same old me with the same old hair, same boring brown eyes that were always in a perma-scowl or glittering with laughter at some dirty joke James had told me.

It was just death, right? I mean, Jesus! People died _every single day._ Right? People were murdered by Voldemort or killed by dragons all the time. I wasn't the only one affected by it. Death was everywhere nowadays.

Then again, he _was_ my daddy. My best friend. My cheerleader. The one who taught me how to cook and that it was never right to wear fedoras with my curly hair or maxi dresses if you were below 5'4".

"Caddie, sweetie? Are you ready?"

"Yes Dad, just a second," I say.

I open the door and meet the eyes of my other dad. He had been crying, I could tell. The shadows under his eyes were dark and unforgiving, telling me that he hadn't slept in days.

I take the arm he offers and we make our way from my grand mummy's bathroom and into the den.

"You look beautiful dear," Grand mummy says.

"Thanks," I say, smoothing my dress.

"Daddy would appreciate your outfit," Dad smiles sadly.

I click my green heels together.

"I know. That's why I wore it," I say.

"Ready to go?" my granddad yells from the kitchen.

"Yes Harold!" I yell in response.

"Well come on then… _Catherine_," he says, laughter in his voice.

"All right all right."

000

We make it to the funeral home and I walk in slowly, not wanting to ruin my hair that grand mummy had twisted into a knot. I quickly scan the room for my friends, trying to avoid the sympathy looks from every single person in the room.

"CADDIE!"

I turn and mentally bless my cousin as he waves wildly from across the room.

"Hey guys," I say.

"Hey Caddie Cat," James says, pulling me in for a hug, "How are you feeling?"

"Awful," I say, "I've been having trouble breathing lately. My chest squeezes so tight it feels like my heart's going to burst out of my chest."

"Grief and panic," Remus points out.

"Yeah. I kn- Shit, why is _he_ here?" I grumble as I notice the bane-or shall I say _pain_ of my existence.

Otherwise known as Sirius Black.

"I thought I told you guys to leave him out of it! _And_ he had to bring McKinnon?" I grump.

Marlene McKinnon, my enemy since year three when she found out I had two dads and gave me hell for being 'unnatural.'

Her words, not mine.

"Hey Caddie," Sirius says.

"I told you not to come, Black. I swear, if you do anything today to mess with me, I will personally curse your balls off," I hiss.

"Is that a threat?" Sirius says, smirking that stupid smirk.

"It's a damn _promise_," I snarl.

The piano starts to play and my dad motions for me to come and stand by him. I nod and come up to the front. I look out into the crowd and smile slightly at my friend Lily who was sitting with her mum in the third row.

"Thank you all for being here. And now, if she will, my daughter Caddie has a few words," Dad says.

"Thanks Dad," I say.

I smooth my dress and click my heels together for luck, something my daddy taught me.

"Some of you may be wondering why my dad and I are not dressed in full black today," I say, gesturing to my heels and the red flower in my hair, "It's because my daddy wouldn't have wanted us to be sad. He always used to quote his favorite singer, a man by the name of John Lennon. Lennon said, "Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears." By that logic, my daddy led a full life."

I take a deep breath and wipe away a few tears.

"He loved quoting famous people. For my twelfth birthday, he helped me write quotes and lyrics to Beatles songs all over my room. My daddy loved The Beatles. His favorite song was _Yesterday _and he also loved _Blackbird_. He taught me how to play the guitar too. He was so proud of me when I learned_ Hey Jude._ He also loved to cook. My daddy was from Italy, born in the small city of Comiziano in Naples. We spoke Italian at home. And we had his specialty penne dish every Saturday for dinner. My daddy was-" I choke as I see the casket.

"Oh God," I whisper.

Everyone in the room turns as I run down the stairs and to the coffin.

"Daddy… DADDY! DADDY! HE LOOKS SO FAKE! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING! DADDY PLEASE, PLEASE WAKE UP!" I scream, falling to my knees in front of the wooden box that would hold my daddy from then on.

"Caddie!" Dad says, running up to me and grabbing me up in his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I ruined it. I'm sorry," I say, sobbing into his shoulder.

"No no, shh. It's OK. You've been so brave, sweetie. It was just a matter of time. It's going to be OK," he says, rubbing my back.

"Mr. Lupin?"

I look up and see Lily looking down at me sadly.

"If it's OK with you, Caddie can come back to my house. Have a girls' day. You can stay here but I'll take her with me right now."

"I think that would be a good idea, Lily. Caddie?" Dad says, holding out his hand.

I take it, nodding. He pulls me to my feet and gently pushes me towards Lily. She envelopes me in her arms and slowly leads me out the door and into the starry night.

000

"Ice cream?"

"Hmm," I say, looking up, "Oh yeah. What kind?"

"Chocolate. With chocolate chips and hot fudge. Your favorite," Lily says, handing me a bowl.

"I feel you giving off waves of pity," I say as she sits next to me on our blanket.

"Your daddy died Caddie. Of course I feel sorry for you," Lily says.

"I know but… I get that from _everyone_. I don't need it from my best friend too!" I sigh.

"Fine. I won't give you pity glances… That you'll see," Lily smiles.

I roll my eyes and bump her shoulder with mine. She giggles and bumps me back.

"Do you think you'll go out with James this year?" I ask, spooning some ice cream into my mouth.

"Are you mad? He's a prick!" she says.

"He's not _that _bad," I answer.

"He's your friend though. Of course you think he's the best!"

"James _is _the best. He's the _bestest_! You should give him a chance Lils," I point out.

"When hell freezes over… Twice," she grumbles.

"Speaking of hell, my O.W.L scores came this morning," I say.

"How'd you do?" Lily asks.

"I got an E in Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, and Ruins. I got an A in Astronomy and Care of Magical Creatures. Failed Divination and History of Magic and got O's in Potions and Defense. You?" I answer.

"I got all O's except in Ruins," Lily sighs.

"You sound disappointed," I tease.

"Well how are we supposed to write our secret notes if I can't take Ancient Ruins this year?" she says.

"Good point. Hey, look! See that? There's the North Star," I point to the glowing orb.

Lily looks up, "Hey yeah. What did your daddy always tell you before you left for school?"

I smile at the memory.

"Whenever you're feeling lonely and you miss me, look up and find the North Star. It never moves and stays in the same place in the sky. When you look at it, I'll be looking at it too. I'll be able to hear your wishes. I'll be able to watch over you."

**So, there it is. How was it? Comment, favorite or do whatever it is you lovely readers can do?**


End file.
